That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
