I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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