My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
