I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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