I hate your face
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
