but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
