I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
