We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
