we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
