planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
