you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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