I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
