I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You took a bar mat shot.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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