I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
