Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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