Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
