1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
