gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
