Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
