I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
