And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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