Do you still have your period?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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