apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
