is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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