I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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