bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
