So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
