I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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