I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
