Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
