is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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