you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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