When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize