i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
