He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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