so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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