So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
