i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
