Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
