is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
