See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
