I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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