How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
