i would punch a child for taco bell
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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