Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
