so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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