so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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