Non-Jews are for practice
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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