So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
