When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
