Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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