well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
