i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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