2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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