And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize