problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
